i loved him first

I loved him first doesnt mean he left me for someone else,,
I loved him first doesnt mean he left me for someone that loved him after me,,
Loving him first just meant he came before my family and friends..
I was so confused so scared how could i haved belived that he really cared??

Nights in bed crying asking myself Why?
How could i stay here and belived all his lies?
how could i let him destroy me physically and emotionally?
how could i let him reach into my heart take my soul and leave me dead??
how could become so numb?

i belived it all..the "im so sorry" to the "i wont do it again' knowing it was only bound to happen tomorrow..

So yeah i loved him first because i never got the heart to love myself first.
i LOVED HIM BEFORE I GOT TO LOVE ME...i LOVE him before he loved me